im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
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All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
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Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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