Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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