well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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