It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
