I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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