I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
