So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
high people should be assigned attendants
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
