i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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