i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize