i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
