I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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