I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
