My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
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It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
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Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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