why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
