so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
