There is no way he is gay with that hair.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
