none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
there is puke in my bra ... again
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
