bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
