I wish my penis had an off switch
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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