the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So. Much. Porn.
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