You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
