Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
