Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
this hospital has no fireball
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
