Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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