I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
