his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
