RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
