You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
They took my balls.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
