Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
