I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just sucked dick on a ferry
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
