Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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