Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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