My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
