Ambien. No doubt about it.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
