If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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