On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?