I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.