I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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