Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You pole danced in your parka.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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