Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
