you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
