quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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