I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
