either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
