I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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