Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
