I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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