I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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