just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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