I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
