her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
