No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
