Please, let me fuck your mom
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
