OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
