She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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