Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
