Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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