Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize