I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
