So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
