Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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