Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
