If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
