drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
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does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
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I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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